What We Learned Making Thanksgiving Dinner for the Bidens

In 1997, we bought a family restaurant and a sports bar on Nantucket Island. We named it after our pet pig, Pudley, and we wanted to make it to be a low-key community place where people of all backgrounds could cheer on the Red Sox, Patriots, and Bruins. Most people know the island as a place where the rich and famous come to relax. We fell in love with Nantucket because local people supported and uplifted one another, and we wanted to be a part of that project. Owning a restaurant seemed daunting, but island friends helped us find a way to raise money and secure the loan. And so, as restaurant owners, we have long been committed to providing others with the same respect and support, which means we treat all our customers the same—whether they’re construction workers, CEOs, or even the President of the United States.

Our journey with the Biden family began 26 years ago when, only about a year after opening our doors, we got a phone call asking if we could do a take-out Thanksgiving Dinner. Thus began a relationship that has taken us inside the Oval Office and West Wing and onto the tarmac with Air Force One. A lot has changed in the past two decades as that customer has gone from Senator to Vice President to Commander-in-Chief. Security has increased; so too have requests for media interviews. But one thing hasn’t: our relationship with a down-to-earth family man who exudes a calmness and a kindness when he enters the room. It is a reminder that politics can be mean, nasty, and divisive, but personal relationships can transcend such negativity.

Joe Biden is all about tradition, not status—and those values have held true even as he has climed the political ladder. The Biden family has come to Nantucket for Thanksgiving almost every year since 1975. They have embraced the island community, which in November means mainly blue-collar locals. The President has even participated in things like the Cold Turkey Plunge to raise money for the local library. We have been a part of that, cooking traditional dishes like turkey and stuffing as well as adding in lobster by request. Senator Biden became a valued customer, and that didn’t change when he became Vice President. One year, he walked right though the back door to deliver us a memento (a hat he had worn with the vice-presidential seal), just like the local fisherman would to deliver freshly caught scallops. Our no-frills homestyle cooking didn’t bring status, but it brought consistency and a connection to the down-to-earth community that is frequently out of the public eye.

Read more: Read Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 Proclamation that Made Thanksgiving a National Holiday

As restaurant owners, we know the importance of a hardworking staff. Servers, cooks, and dishwashers all play an integral role in our operations and we can’t open the doors without them. We learned that the same is true of politics. Once Biden became Vice President, we welcomed hundreds of Secret Service members to our restaurant, feeding them with take-out and through sit-down restaurant experiences. We could always identify them by their impeccable manners. They are kind, polite, and always thankful. So too were all the people who set up opportunities for us to say hello on the airplane tarmac and to tour the White House and even participate at the annual Easter Egg roll. President Biden promised to return our hospitality if we would visit the Capitol, and his staff made it happen.  

A successful year-round restaurant on Nantucket requires relationship-building with the local community. Customers who feel safe, supported, and welcome come back. They bring their children and friends. They have birthday parties and wedding receptions. Being genuine and kind is good business. The same can be true for politics. Since we first met the Bidens, we have gotten the phone call for the Thanksgiving take-out dinner every year. Once, we got one from Dr. Jill Biden during the Iowa Caucuses, when Biden was throwing his hat in for the Presidency, just to let us know that they couldn’t make it to Nantucket that year. When he became President, we had to actively remember to call him “Mr. President,” because to us, he had always been just “Joe.” Each year, a handwritten letter or signed photograph would arrive with a personal reminder that he may reside in the White House, but he still was the same person we have known for decades.

In addition, we have learned that Biden’s authenticity, which at times may come off as a gaffe when he goes off script and ad libs during a speech or jokes with a reporter, is neither a performance nor a mistake. It is who he is. The similarities and consistencies behind the scenes in our private conversations and in public are striking. When we watched him passionately defend a policy to global leaders on television, we saw the same smile and desire to help that we saw when he took pictures with our staff.

Perhaps the takeaway is that politics doesn’t have to be contentious. It can be about relationships and community-building at the local level. As President Biden prepares to depart the White House, we know that, at least for us, the example that he set of the power of person-to-person connection will always be a key part of his legacy.

We aren’t partisan people. But by the nature of our job, we have gotten a front row seat to the most powerful political office in the country. And through it, we have gotten more respect for the office—and gratitude for the ability of the people who run our government to do kind things for ordinary people like us.