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Elliot Anderson, Jude Bellingham and Djed Spence celebrate England's win (Image: Getty Images)
As soon as those turquoise seats of the Miami Dolphins stadium come into view, all I can think of is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Maybe I'm just a child of the 1990s, but it just gives me flashbacks of Jim Carrey unravelling the mystery of who stole the American football team’s aquatic mascot from the swimming pool at the corner of the stadium.
Arriving to watch the 2026 World Cup quarter-final between England and Norway, it’s reassuring to see the Hollywood razzmatazz I’ve associated with the venue is still alive and well.
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While there might not be a dolphin cruelly kept in a glorified pond in the corner of the stadium like in the movie, there is a stage that would comfortably serve a UK arena venue.
Walking into the stadium, I am greeted by a singer in a gold outfit, and a full backing band is serenading the crowd with the type of American classics you’d expect from a venue known as Hard Rock Stadium—a result of its sponsorship by the popular chain of cafés.
We are then introduced to the two cheerleaders, a man and a woman who are inexplicably dressed in orange and black. I guess orange is a cross between the two nations’ jerseys, although that’s probably giving them a little too much credit.
One thing that can’t be doubted is their enthusiasm; they wail, “Come onnn!” to the two sets of fans with the passion of lifelong supporters.
As the clock ticks down to kick-off, a giant boxing announcer appears on the screen holding the type of metallic mic that drops from the heavens before a fight in Las Vegas. He starts by asking the different fans, “Arrrre you readdyyyyy?” and signs off with, “Let’s get ready to rumble!” It seems like the catchphrase for the wrong sport, but it pumps up the crowd regardless.
Fireworks and clouds of smoke in the two countries' colours blast at the conclusion of the anthems, leaving a pink haze hanging over the stadium bowl. As the cloud works its way back, it smells pretty musty.
After an enthusiastic countdown to kick-off, the action gets underway and the atmosphere settles into something a bit more familiar to European fans.
The hydration break is a very American invention and is greeted with boos from the crowd. But unlike in Dallas, where the DJ pumping out Mr. Brightside was met with the type of raucous reaction you’d expect at a Killers concert, in Miami, people seem a little relieved for the break themselves.
That’s probably because the Texas stadium is air-conditioned, whereas the Florida venue is extremely hot.
The whistle sees supporters diving under their seats to grab plastic fans to wave frantically and cool themselves a little. Plenty more head for the exits, no doubt getting some hydration.
The next interruption in play comes courtesy of David Beckham, who gets huge cheers as he appears on screen in the build-up to Harry Kane taking a free-kick.
Half-time brings us a lengthy ad break flogging everything from Coca-Cola to mobile phone coverage.
Once the sponsors have had their fill, attention turns back to the stage in the corner of the stadium, where DJ Steve Aoki is ready to blast some electronic dance music. He tries to get those who’ve remained in their seats to sway their arms, but he gets only a lukewarm response.
Victoria Beckham and Sir David Beckham in the stand during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Quarter Final (Image: Richard Sellers/Sportsphoto/APL)
As the rhythms intensify, he starts jumping around the stage and pumping his fists. It’s got the vibes of an embarrassing uncle at a wedding who's had one too many beers.
The DJ set having finished, he is, for some unbeknownst reason, handed a massive birthday cake which, instead of being eaten, is thrown in the face of the male cheerleader who promised to be covered in icing “if everyone screeeams.”
The bizarre but enthralling entertainment spectacle ends, and it’s back to the game.
By the time the second hydration break comes around, the crowd has livened up a bit because they belt out Bon Jovi’s Livin' on a Prayer with gusto; maybe The Killers didn’t quite fit the Hard Rock vibe.
One England fan, who’s clearly enjoying the tune, waves two beers at the camera as he sways to the music.
The tension builds and builds with the score locked at 1-1, and it’s unsurprising the full-time whistle is greeted with a more muted reaction. Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses blares out, but with the possibility of penalties looming, the fans conserve their energies. That is, with the exception of anyone who is pictured on the big screen; they absolutely go for it.
Mick Jagger and his sons Deveraux Jagger, James Jagger and Lucas Jagger (Image: Getty Images)
During the half-time break of extra time, it starts to feel a little bit like the venue’s entertainment plan has run its course. But there are wild cheers when the big screen cuts to Sir Mick Jagger, who's being photobombed by a man beside him wagging his tongue.
The mini-break ends with gasps of disappointment from the crowds when the big screen shows that Erling Haaland has been replaced. He was clearly the star draw; I don’t think I’ve seen so many shirts for a single player at an international game. It’s not just the Norwegians; the US and even the Mexican fans in attendance seem to have taken to the Manchester City player.
England eventually run out as 2-1 winners, but the Norwegian spirits are barely dampened. At the full-time whistle, the vast majority of fans from both teams remain in the stadium.
There is a poignant divide on the two sides of the pitch as the England team line up to take the acclaim, while the Norway team stand in unison to applaud their fans.
It’s followed by the fun sight of John Stones repeating the joke where he pretends to have an injured shoulder before fist-pumping.
As the stadium finally empties, I look out at the turquoise seats and wonder: What would Ace Ventura make of it all?
English (US) · 